Hanks appeared in a black turtleneck, mocking the classic beatnik look, as he rattled off a series of free-verse stanzas about Danny Tanner, Uncle Jesse, Joey and the three girls they raised in San Francisco.
“Full House, house full of men,” Hanks begins his poem. “Danny, Jesse, Joey, father, uncle, friend ... Uncle Jesse whose hair is never messy. Watch the hair, huh? Have Mercy on Uncle Jesse. Three men raising three girls. Or are the girls raising them? Wake Up, San Francisco... No women in this full house, this house full of men ... This male dominated house. Cut it out!"
Hanks goes on to reference one of the best-known episodes of the series, in which DJ Tanner wins tickets to see the Beach Boys. At the same time, Hanks takes on "Full House’s" bizarre gender balance.
“And the men become boys…Beach Boys,” Hanks recites. “As they go to the show and sing Kokomo. That’s where I want to go to get away from it all. From what? From this male-dominated world, this testosterone-soaked Full House, this house full of men.”
And of course, Hanks ends the poem with the catchphrase, “Cut it out.”
Watch Hanks perform his curious three-minute slam poetry routine about “Full House” below.