The government shutdown might be killing the vibes of furloughed Federal employees, but one website hopes to change that. Vibrators.com, a website that bills itself as “the easiest way to find the perfect vibrator,” is offering its merchandise free of charge to any nonessential government workers.
“Are you a federal employee that has been deemed non-essential? Do you have a little too much time on your hands and nothing to do? Is the recent government shutdown to blame?” the company asks in an announcement on their website. “As vibrator enthusiasts, we want everyone to experience the pleasure that a nice vibrator can bring to partners and individuals. Besides, we know you have some free time, why not try something new?”
The company is right about one thing: According to the Washington Post, at least 450,000 federal employees remained on furlough Monday as the government shutdown entered its second week. In a rare move on Saturday, the House voted unanimously to approve back pay for furloughed employees once the shutdown ends.
But in the meantime -- while supplies last -- the company is offering eligible applicants a “free vibe,” which typically retails for $9.99, for as long as the government shutdown continues. Features include complimentary shipping conducted with the “utmost privacy and discretion.”
There is a catch, however: Due to delivery schedules, the website can’t ship more than 200 vibrators a day. Although the company doesn’t stipulate precisely how they intend to make sure that their giveaway vibrators are going to furloughed employees, they do ask that potential recipients follow the honor system, writing in a note at the bottom of the page, “To the person from Staten Island, N.Y., who has tried to order 6 free vibrators, please go away. We don't give vibrators to greedy people. Besides, what were you going to do with 6 identical vibrators? Don't answer that question.”