How To Watch The Super Bowl For People Who Hate Football: A Handy Survival Guide For Sunday's Big Game

Many don't want to admit it, but there's a silent majority that knows a simple and painful fact: Football can be really boring.

There are too many breaks in the action. There are too many penalties that even experts don't understand. And the games often involve teams that most of the country doesn't care about.

Indeed, watching a football game is often a test of endurance rather than a fun experience.

Despite all this, over 100 million people will watch the Super Bowl this Sunday. It's an event that sometimes feels like a national holiday with the excuse to overeat.

Many will be showing up to parties or bars, and will pay very little attention to anything other than the halftime show and the commercials. But there's a way to survive Super Bowl Sunday and it helps to know some facts and heed some advice.

When does it start?

The game kicks off at about 6:39 p.m. Eastern Time. It would be clever to show up around 7 p.m., though, to be fashionably late and miss out on much of the first quarter. A late arrival means missing out on the pre-game festivities but they can be dull, too.

Who’s playing?

This year's participants are the Atlanta Falcons and the New England Patriots.

The New England Patriots? That’s dumb. New England is a region, not a city.

The Patriots were once called the Boston Patriots but changed their name to the New England Patriots in 1971. There are other teams that don't have cities as their names, like the Carolina Panthers, Arizona Cardinals and the Tennessee Titans.

Atlanta has a good football team?

They haven’t reached the Super Bowl since 1999, so it’s been awhile since they’ve been in the public eye. The Falcons have never won a championship. Their quarterback is Matt Ryan and he had a really good season.

How am I supposed to tell the teams apart?

The Falcons are called the "Dirty Birds" because black is one of their team colors. They also have red, white and silver as their official team colors. The Patriots went with the typical patriotic colors: red, white, navy blue, and silver.

Should I bring anything to the Super Bowl party?

Okay, now you’re getting to the best part of Super Bowl parties: the food. Bring a six-pack of beer and then mooch off everyone else’s contributions: spinach and artichoke dip, guacamole, buffalo wings, nachos, pigs in a blanket, random things wrapped in bacon — maybe even brownies and pulled pork sliders.

Is Beyonce going to be singing at the halftime show again?

Not this year. It's going to be Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett will be joining her.

Is Left Shark gonna make a comeback?

Again, probably no. Still, Left Shark is missed.

Can I just skip it?

If you play hookie, you’ll miss the food, and the commercials, and whatever crazy stunt Lady Gaga may or may not pull. And you’ll be totally clueless about the chatter on your Twitter timeline. Yes, non-football fans feel like sheep for participating in a mainstream football event but remember it's also a pop culture event, too.

Okay, but do I really have to go?

No. There are actually more Americans not watching the game than watching it, so you won't feel alone. Come Monday morning, commercials will be on YouTube and leftover snacks will be in the office fridge.