Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
A new book alleges that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was nearly shot by the U.S. Secret Service during a 2006 U.N. assembly. Wikipedia

Iranians are among the most physically beautiful people on the earth -- I would venture to say that they are most attractive nationality on the planet, in tandem with their fabulous ancient culture.

However, as comely as Persians generally are, the country’s “elected” civilian leader, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is one of the ugliest heads of states in all God’s creation.

Ahmadinejad is ugly both on the outside and inside. He looks like a cross between basset hound, a donkey and a rat (no offense to those three fine creatures). He’s ludicrously short, his hair is always mussed, his eyes are beady, he wears cheap-looking suits, and he always looks like he just climbed out of bed.

His transgressions are long and too painful to recite, including, among other things, his dubious election “victories” and his delusionary threats about Iran’s supposed military might.

With Iran likely developing nuclear weapons and Israel making threats of a military strike on the Islamic Republic any day now, Ahmadinejad’s homely appearance might seem a trivial matter. However, I don’t think it is.

If Teheran wants to improve its image on the global stage, they really need to get rid of this Ahmadinejad character and replace him with someone better looking (man or woman, it doesn’t matter).

I’m not kidding – public relations and positive “brand image” matters in the selling of commercial goods on Madison Avenue, it matters in political elections in the west and, of course, it matters greatly in Hollywood and television.

It should also matter in international geo-politics.

With its lengthy litany of human rights abuses, repression of women, fondness for executing criminals and financing of terror groups across the Middle East, Iran has a long, long way to go before it regains any kind of favorable stature in the world.

But Ahmadinejad’s ugly looks don’t help matters.

By my count, Iran has only two real friends in the world -- Syria (whose leader Bashar al-Assad’s days are numbered) and Hezbollah (a group active in Lebanon and but not even a legitimate political entity). Yes, Russia, China and India have relations with the Iranian regime – but that’s largely based on economic factors. Moscow, Beijing and New Delhi won’t admit it now, but they would all be much happier dealing with a new political leadership in Teheran.

Oh, yes, Iran also has ‘friends’ in Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, North Korea and the Castro brothers in Cuba. But as the old saying goes, “with friends like these…”

Iran is increasingly isolated in the world and will soon run out of any allies whatsoever.

Anyway, I would urge whoever is really running Iran these days (the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, I guess) to dump Ahmadinejad now because his hideous looks are making the job of re-establishing good relations with the rest of the world that much harder.

Ahmadinejad is giving Iran an unattractive, unappealing image that is underserved and hurting the chances for rapprochement with the West.

Moreover, in this modern age of relentless media coverage, the omnipresent internet and heavy focus on image, could Ahmadinejad stand a chance of winning an election that was truly fair and democratic?

No, he wouldn’t even be elected head dogcatcher of Teheran.

Iran needs a quick and immediate “makeover” – which means, Ahmadinejad needs to return back to the rock from whence he slithered out of.