Super Bowl XLVIII doesn’t kick off until Sunday evening, but the controversy is already here. The ScarJo SodaStream commercial has been banned. Times Square is a congested mess. And poor New York and New Jersey taxpayers are being saddled with a large part of the bill. Isn’t it all just a little too much to take?
Of course it is, but all is not lost. As usual, a host of Super Bowl drinking games has popped up to help you cope. So whether you’re rooting for the Seattle Seahawks or the Denver Broncos, you can be like most Americans and watch the big game in a steadily worsening alcoholic malaise. Below, IBTimes put together a list of some of the best drinking games on the Web. As always, drink responsibly.
Paste Magazine: The Ultimate Super Bowl Drinking Game
Whenever someone has the audacity to call something the “ultimate,” it almost never delivers, but this one comes close. The folks at Paste magazine have put together a comprehensive drinking game that covers every element of Super Sunday, from the pre-game buzz to the coin toss to the halftime show to the post-game analysis. There are a different set of rules for Denver and Seattle fans, so if you play this one, try to get along. Full Game.
Mandatory.com: The Official 2014 Super Bowl Party Drinking Game
From “ultimate” we go to “official,” a subtle distinction that only true drinking-game connoisseurs understand. This color-coded game from AOL Inc.’s (NYSE:AOL) Mandatory.com covers the commercials, the halftime show, food and drink, and the game itself. There’s even a “friends” category that covers your fellow party guests. Our favorite rule: Hit the beer bong every time someone shows up in a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey. There’s one at every party. Full Game.
The Washington Post Express Super Bowl Drinking Game
Wait, the Washington Post has a Super Bowl drinking game? Listen, if Jeff Bezos were your boss, you might need one too. So the golden journalistic era of “All the President’s Men” is long gone. Play this game the right way and, by the fourth quarter, you’ll be all like, “Woodward who?” Full Game.
The Nosh Pit Super Bowl Drinking Game
Who better than the folks at Seattle Met magazine to come up with a drinking game in honor of the city’s beloved Seahawks? For Seattleites, the wound of 2005 -- when the team was all but robbed of a Super Bowl victory by the Steelers -- is still very fresh. Few things say payback better than a drinking game, and Seattle Met’s food blog, the Nosh Pit, delivers with quaint, minimalistic charm. It’s a short and simple game, but it might be all that some folks need. The rules include drinking every time the camera pans to Macklemore, the Seattle-based rapper who, fresh from his Grammy win, will be in attendance at the big game. There’s also a rule to take three drinks if Fox producers show footage of fish-tossing at Pike Place Market or a barista making a latte. Throw in a Nirvana song, and it’s 1991 all over again. Full Game.
Drinking Game Zone: Super Bowl XLVIII
Finally, this game actually comes from a website called “Drinking Game Zone.” No lie. If they don’t know how to get you toasty, we’re out of ideas. Full Game.
Super Bowl XLVIII will be broadcast live on Fox from the MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. Kickoff time is 6:30 p.m., EST.
Christopher Zara covers media, culture, entertainment and the arts. He joined IBTimes in June 2012. From 2005 to 2012, he served as managing editor of Show Business, a trade...