The field is narrow. The stakes are high. The audience is drunk.
Or, at least, you will be if you follow these drinking-game rules for tonight's Republican debate.
The GOP primary is down to real estate tycoon Donald Trump, retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson, Ohio Gov. John Kasich, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and Florida Sen. Marco Rubio. In one of the candidates' final opportunities to score votes before Super Tuesday, CNN is set to host a debate Thursday at 8:30 p.m. EST in Houston, Texas. Watch a live stream here.
This is the 10th GOP primary debate so far — whew — and we're not even close to being done with the election cycle. It's no big deal, only the future of America is hanging in the balance. What other excuse do you need for drinking on a Thursday night?
Grab your booze of choice, gather your pals and select a candidate (or two). Then follow these rules, collected from the Sun Times Network, Debate Drinking and our previous games. Imbibe responsibly — and register to vote.
Drink whenever your candidate...
... references former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, who dropped out Saturday.
... appears to totally ignore the question the moderator asked.
... shouts or talks over another candidate (or the moderators).
... insults Planned Parenthood.
... promotes his website. We know, guys. We know.
... refers to Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton as a criminal.
... makes a dumb Texas joke. "Everything's bigger," "Remember the Alamo," etc.
... not-so-subtly compares himself to former President Ronald Reagan.
... says "Guantanamo Bay," "Obama" or "the Constitution."
... is just obviously gunning to be vice president at this point.
... calls someone else a "liar."
@mtaibbi Start sipping your drink at CNN's 8:30pm "start time" and stop only when the debate actually begins. Congrats, you're dead.
— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) February 25, 2016
Drink whenever any candidate...
... gets booed.
... criticizes the mainstream media, leaving moderator Wolf Blitzer shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
... makes a face that will be a killer GIF later. (Looking at you, Trump.)
... panders for Texans' votes.
... complains that he's not getting enough time to speak.
... labels Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders a "socialist."
... gets called on but isn't paying attention. (Ahem, Carson.)
... tries to outdo another candidate in terms of how hard he would bomb the Islamic State group.
... takes aim at Rubio for repeating certain policy lines.
... presents a calm, collected argument you agree with.
GOP debate drinking game: whenever a candidate name calls you have to drink :)
— digitalteacup (@digitalteacup) February 14, 2016
And finish your drink...
Trump has to leave the stage because his daughter Ivanka gives birth.