Monday is Dorothy Parker's 123rd birthday, and Twitter turned up to celebrate. As of 8 a.m. EDT, the famous writer's name was trending on the social media site, with dozens of users sharing their favorite Parker quotes and quips.
Parker, who was born Aug. 22, 1893, started her writing career as a teenager and before long worked for Vogue and Vanity Fair, according to the biography on the Dorothy Parker Society Website. In 1919, she helped organize the Algonquin Round Table, a regular meeting of New York City-based critics, and later, while traveling abroad, she met Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Parker continued to write short stories and reviews, often contributing to the New Yorker and even working in film, until her death in 1967.
"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."
"I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem."
"And if my heart be scarred and burned, / The safer, I, for all I learned."
"Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!"
"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
"They say of me, and so they should, / It's doubtful if I come to good."
"Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat."
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
"It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes."
"To me, the most beautiful word in the English language is cellar-door. Isn’t it wonderful? The ones I like, though, are 'cheque' and 'enclosed.'"
"I hate writing, I love having written."
"I've learned from looking around, there is something worse than loneliness — and that's the fear of it."
"Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."
"Tomorrow's gone — we'll have tonight!"
"You can’t take it with you, and even if you did, it would probably melt."
"If I didn't care for fun and such, / I'd probably amount to much. / But I shall stay the way I am, / Because I do not give a damn."