Memo to ESPN: athletes don't try to win ESPY awards, and fans don't care about sports award shows.

Of course, the most watched sports network in the United States is probably well aware of that fact but they continue the charade anyway.

Instead of a three-minute segment on SportsCenter, ESPN uses the slowest day in sports to trot out a collection of athletes channeling their inner comedian to poor results. The athletes' comedic failures are often matched by the host, who usually is someone most sports fans know has no sports knowledge. The jokes often fall flat, but it doesn't matter because the concept of the show has already fallen flat.

The ESPYs showcase some of the most pointless awards in sports. They include: Best Game, Best Upset, and Best Play. Athletes aren't motivated by such an award. A quarterback doesn't tell his teammates in the huddle, If we pull off this flea flicker and score a touchdown, there's an ESPY waiting for us in Los Angeles.

There are plenty of real awards in sports. They are awards given to an athlete from their respective sport, like National League MVP, or NBA Rookie of the Year. Blake Griffin probably has his real NBA award in his trophy case, and tosses his ESPY off to the side.

If the contrived festivities weren't boring enough, ESPN also has an award show preview with hosts Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic. Why stop there? Why not bring out Joan and Melissa Rivers on the red carpet to ask Linda Cohn, Who are you wearing?

Not that the people who work for ESPN are not aware of such a pointless award show. ESPN columnist Bill Simmons once ripped the show when he didn't work for the network, but now lets the show slide. This is also the same network that broadcasted The Decision and the next day their opinionists ripped the idea of such a program.

As the lone giant in sports media, ESPN basically gets away with what it wants because there's no real competitor to balance them out.

There is enough self congratulations in Hollywood. Unfortunately, ESPN has seized upon the idea of dressing up celebrity athletes in tuxedos, and handing out meaningless awards