Comedian Rob Delaney plans to sue Kim Kardashian if she continues on the path to dissolve her 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries.
Delaney has named E!, Comcast, and Ryan Seacrest as co-defendants in the lawsuit, which he formally announced Monday on Vice.com.
It is alleged that Kim Kardshian was paid $18 million to participate in her own wedding, Delaney wrote. I feel like schools could use that money. Or health clinics in areas hit hardest by the recession. Or Pizza Hut. Or Bernie Madoff. Or my uncle Mitchell, who is a convicted sex offender making a living selling Percocet to the elderly in Rhode Island.
Delaney is essentially accusing Kardashian and her corporate overlords (as the Village Voice described them) of fraud. He appears to believe -- and he's not alone -- that the marriage was concocted to generate ratings, and that Humphries was essentially hired for the role of Kim's groom.
But Delaney insists he does not hate Kardashian, and that he will not go through with the lawsuit if Kardashian and Humphries decide to give their marriage another chance.
I know that under your unnecessary inch of makeup and Kevlar sheath dress is a heart that yearns for true love and could find and appreciate the pleasures in marriage.... That's why I'd like you to stay married. And if you won't, I will sue you, Delaney wrote.
Because when you wrap your marriage vows around a cubic zirconia encrusted baseball bat and beat us about the head and face with them, you can stay the f--k married for more than 20 minutes, you sexy monster. I'll see you in court.
But is there a court who would hear Delaney's case?
IBTimes spoke to Alyson Oliver, an attorney with Kresch Oliver, a consumer protection law firm based in Michigan. (Kresch Oliver, also known as 1-800-LAW FIRM, brought a class action suit against Lady Gaga for allegedly mishandling proceeds from the sale of her We Pray for Japan wristbands).
I can't imagine how a lawsuit like this could be brought against [Kardashian et al], Oliver said initially. It's not that I want to say there's no case, she added, explaining rather that such a case would pose an evidentiary challenge.
Being able to prove that the basis of that marriage was financial instead of emotional would be basically impossible unless you had a smoking gun, Oliver continued.
When asked to provide an example of said smoking gun, she offered the example of an email correspondence referring to any contractual obligations. Or better yet, a paper trail of financial transactions related to such an obligation.
If money traded hands over it, Delaney could have a shot at a class action suit, Oliver explained. You can always follow the money to get to the bottom of things.
So far, Delaney has not detailed his plans for the lawsuit. I tried to get it escalated by the court so [Kardashian would] have to respond today, but it didn't happen, he told the Village Voice. I can't change the law but I can aim the law at whomever I want.
Delaney has not yet hired an outside lawyer.
I'm representing myself and the people of the United States of America if they'll have me.
Follow @robdelaney on Twitter for updates...