10. “Man, without Chris Paul, the Lakers are really gonna suck this year!”

9. “Was Michelle Bachmann related to Bachman-Turner Overdrive? Wow, did those guys know how to rock!!”

8. “You and I got a lot in common, Mitt. We’re, uh, both Republicans and, uh, we both have beautiful blonde Botoxed trophy wives.”

7. “Look at the bright side, man, you’ll never have to set foot in Iowa ever again!”

6. “Yeah, I know what you mean, man, I’m sick of Meryl Streep’s fake accents, too!”

5. “You oughtta pick Chris Christie as a running mate. He might make you a heavy favorite to win. Get it? Get it? ‘Heavy’??!!!”

4. “Damn, that Ron Paul character even makes me look handsome!”

3. “You’re a Mormon right, Mitt? Does that mean you’ll have a whole buncha ‘First Ladies’ running around the White House?

2. “Have you ever Googled the word “Santorum”? Aw, man, it’s hilarious!”

1. “Dude, whatever you do, don’t pick some stupid bimbo as your running mate!”