Sunday nights have become television heaven for 51 weeks of the year, owing that lost week to the annual showdown between the two best teams in the NFL. Super Bowl Sunday, with the hundreds of millions of viewers it attracts, has become a lost night for any network not broadcasting the game. But while options for the football-averse are thin, they do exist.
The Super Bowl begins at 6:30 p.m. EST on CBS. Anyone tuning in just for Beyonce’s halftime show can skip the first 90 minutes or so and check in 8.
Animal Planet will air the Puppy Bowl from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m., then rerun it ad nauseam for the next 12 hours and into the early morning hours of Monday. The same pattern holds for the rest of the Sunday night television schedule, which is a barren wasteland of repeats.
Anyone wishing to shun not only the Super Bowl conversation but to avoid any mention of football altogether would be wise to turn on the E! network, where the marathon of “Kourtney and Kim Take Miami” will satisfy any viewers longing to watch a drawn-out argument over hair dye.
If the Bataan Death March that is watching a Kardashian marathon sounds too cruel and unusual, a better option might be “Home Alone” on ABC Family. The classic Macaulay Culkin film about a boy who (hilariously) fends off two hapless burglars might still be fresh in mind because of its broadcast frequency around Christmas, but if watching the “Wet Bandits” hasn’t gotten old yet, it never will.
The best of the rest:
"Iron Man 2," 5:30-8 p.m. EST on FX
"Sex and the City 2," 5-8 p.m. on TBS
"Downton Abbey," repeat at 8 p.m., new episode at 9 p.m. on PBS
"American Pickers" marathon, 6-10 p.m. on History
"American Greed," 1 p.m. on CNBC