Barbadian singer Rihanna dispelled all the rumors circulating about her relationship with Chris Brown last night in an exclusive interview with talk-show host Oprah.
Rihanna, 24, admits that Chris Brown was her first love, and that she believes he was the love of her life. Chris Brown and Rihanna were in a relationship for two years before he attacked Rihanna her on the eve of the Grammy Awards back in 2009, giving her a black eye, and a swollen lip. Chris Brown hurt her not only physically but mentally as well.
"I was hurt the most. Nobody felt what I felt ... like ... it happened to me and it happened to me in front of the world. It was embarrassing, it was humiliating, it was hurtful, you know? It's not easy. I lost my best friend. Like everything I knew switched in a night...switched in a night and I couldn't control that," Rihanna tearfully told Oprah during the candid talk.
But as hurt as she was, her first concern was about Chris Brown and how he was going to be affected by the media frenzy after the attack was discussed ruthlessly by news organizations and fellow celebrities alike.
"As angry as I was, as angry and as hurt and betrayed, I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help and who's going to help him?...I was more concerned about him," Rihanna said to Oprah.
While everyone was concerned about Rihanna's safety, Rihanna was thinking about protecting Chris Brown.
Concerning rumors that the two former lovers saw each other while they were both in St. Tropez recently, she admits that the rumors are true. She says that they went to a mutual friend's party on a yacht.
When asked by Oprah how she reacts when she sees him, Rihanna said that it's "awkward" because she still loves him. "My stomach drops and I have to maintain this poker face and not let it get to the outer part of me," Rihanna admitted.Now, she notes that she and Chris Brown are "very, very close" friends, and that she's forgiven him, but that was only able to happen after she made peace with her father.
Rihanna and her father had a falling out due to his often abusive behavior towards Rihanna's mother. After Chris Brown's assault, however, she reflected back on her childhood and realized that he was a wonderful father. After speaking with him again, Rihanna was able to separate how he acted as a husband from how he acted as a parent.
Her forgiveness of her dad helped her forgive Chris Brown.
Now, three years later, Rihanna openly admits that she is still in love with the singer, who is in another relationship. "We love each other and we probably always will."