The Kraken
The Kraken is one of 5 smokin' hot Halloween costumes. photo courtesy of

Let's just get to the punch -- since that's what good Halloween costumes are. A punch.

So here are 5 smokin' hot Halloween costumes for adults:

1) A Kraken. The Kraken, legendary sea monsters said to live off the coasts of Norway and Ireland, have been reported as perhaps real in history as of late by some researchers. No, you are not smokin' Krakin, it's true.

Or the suspicion that they might have been real is true. The Kraken is so hot that just last week The Los Angeles Times, a respected newspaper, devoted a special front page section to the Kraken. So get some tentacles, and live large by devouring everybody in sight -- be a Kraken. You will be smokin' hot.

2) Angela Rypien. The 20-year-old daughter is a stylist by day, but this month the daughter of Super Bowl Washington Redskins quarterback Mark Rypien has gained fame as the quarterback of the Seattle Mist, which plays in the -- this isn't made up -- Lingerie Football League.

As quarterback, Angela Rypien dresses like other players in the league, wearing, shoulder pads, a helmet, a bra and panties. No kidding.

So get a helmet, put on some undergarments and no more, and head on outside for some tricks and treats.

3) Michael Jackson. He's been dead a while now, but he's still the King of Pop. And in a strange way, Jackson is still hot due to the so-called Michael Jackson death trial involving his doctor. So pick MJ at any era in his life, and bring him back to life. If anybody doesn't like it, just tell them to beat it.

4) Herman Cain. We don't need to explain this, certainly. This dude is red hot. A black Republican from Atlanta.

Are you kidding?

Put on a little mustache, get a slick head, some darker skin if you don't already have it, a little attitude and make sure to put on a Herman Cain for President sticker. You can't lose.

No matter what anybody asks you just say these words: 9-9-9. Example: How's the weather? Say, 9-9-9. Where can we get a pizza? Say, 9-9-9.

5) Hillary Clinton. Let's face it, Hillary Clinton got more votes in the Democratic primary elections than Barack Obama, who ended up with the Democratic nomination and the general election victory to become President of the United States. She's laid law as Secretary of State, bowing to the honor of the president, but she's due for a comeback.

Put on a professional business woman's suit, pull your hair back so that it's out of the way, but doesn't look so good, purse your lips, and say little compared to what you really want to say.

How's the party? It's nice, thank you.

What do you think of these snacks? They are wonderful, thank you.

What should we do with all this trash? We should sanction those who refuse to throw it out.

You'll have it made.