Following the controversial release of over five million private emails by online anti-secrecy organization WikiLeaks, global intelligence company Stratfor undoubtedly has some explaining to do. The emails reveal all sorts of information including details regarding sources, operations and miscellaneous gossip. But, perhaps most peculiar is one specific document circulated among employees in 2007. The document, titled The Stratfor Glossary of Useful, Baffling and Strange Intelligence Terms, is fairly informal and features an unexpected aspect of a company that is ordinarily shrouded in mystery. The author of the email briefly introduces the glossary explaining: Every profession and industry has its own vocabulary. Using baseball terms to explain a football game is tough. These are some of the terms we use.
We have compiled a list of some terms and definitions from the document that you may find particularly amusing:
After Action Report- The final report on the conclusion of an Op. Intended for internal use only. Never show the customer. It's like showing someone how sausage is made. Nauseating.
ATF- Alcohol Tobacco and Fire Arms. Rednecks with a license to kill. Never, ever, ever ask for their help on anything.
Background Check- Check of history of someone to determine reliability. Usually meaningless. A perfect credit rating does not mean you aren't devious scum. Does run up the client's bill and makes it appear that you are busy. Clancy move. Pros run tests.
BOC- Burnt Out Case: Tony got back from Nigeria fried. Two bullet wounds, a blown op and a board. He realized that he's making $78,000 a year and that his wife is real ugly. He was given non-classified Iceland traffic for his next tour. Doesn't give a damn. He's doing AMWAY on the side. Total BOC.
Brief the Times- When the Briefer has obtained zero valuable intelligence from analysis, he finds something in the inside of the morning paper, powers up a view graph, and Briefs the Times. Customers are frequently impressed. It's a hoot.
BYM- Bright Young Man. Doesn't know shit. Doesn't know that he doesn't know. Likely to burn you the first time out. Try to get him killed as quickly as possible.
CIA- Central Intelligence Agency. Also called Langley or up river. Owns human intelligence (directorate of operations) and analysis (directorate of intelligence). Director, CIA is supposed to oversee all of the intelligence community. Isn't that a joke? Imagine the Post Office with a foreign policy.
Clancy- Somebody who has read a lot of Tom Clancy novels and thinks he knows the Craft. Total moron. Really dangerous if he is the Customer. Never let a Briefer be a Clancy.
Coerced source- Someone who is a source because you have him by the balls. The most rare and prized variety of source. The key here is to make sure that the source thinks that working for you makes more sense than shooting you. Keep an extremely close eye on changing moods.
Duplicitous little bastards- Israeli Intelligence
FBI- Federal Bureau of Investigation, aka the Downtown Gang. Very good a breaking up used car rings. Kind of confused on anything more complicated. Fun to jerk with. Not fun when they jerk back.
Green-carder- A source working for you because he believes that you will take him to America where he will own a Seven-Eleven. Try not to disabuse him until after you've squeezed his sorry ass.
WOG- Wise Old Gentleman: Had a great success 30 years ago. Hasn't done shit since then except for reminiscing about his one success. Too smart to go into the field so he can't be killed. Hope for a heart attack.
The glossary in it's entirety is available here.