‘The Bachelor’ 2014: 4 Reasons Why Juan Pablo Might Be Dracula

SATIRE

 @AmandaTVScoop
on February 10 2014 11:48 AM

Juan Pablo Can you tell the difference between Juan Pablo and the first cinematic Dracula, Count Orlok (Max Schreck)? (ANSWER: Count Orlok is on the left. "The Bachelor's" Juan Pablo is on the right.)  Creative Commons/ ABC

“The Bachelor’s” Juan Pablo captured the hearts of his initial 18 bachelorette’s and ABC viewers … but is it because of his looks and charms? Or is it because he is actually Count Dracula, the infamous vampire?

Dun-Dun-Dun!

It may sounds pretty crazy – especially to those that don’t believe in the supernatural. However the (eternal?) 32-year-old single dad has definitely displayed some suspicious behavior since the start of season 18.

For those unfamiliar with The Count, he has been a popular horror figure since Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, “Dracula.” A work of fiction, some of his character aspects are said to have been inspired by Vlad the Impaler, the cruel Prince of Wallachia who lived from 1431-1476. Dracula has been reimagined frequently over the years thanks to pop culture, but he has a few infamous characteristics that seem to stick … and Juan Pablo shares a couple of them.

1. The Accent

Count Dracula and Juan Pablo both share an enchanting accent. Juan Pablo, who was born in New York but move to Venezuela as a child, has what fans call a “sexy” Spanish accent. Dracula, on the other hand, is said to be a nobleman from Transylvania. But that doesn’t mean the Juan Pablo/ Dracula comparison has hit a dead end. Count Dracula is a centuries-old vampire and isn’t always “active.” The infamous vampire could have been hidden in Venezuela for a couple years where his Transylvanian accent (“I vwant to suck your blood”) turned into the one that Juan Pablo has (“ay yay yay!”).

2. Mind Control

Juan Pablo Possible photographic evidence of Juan Pablo using mind control on Nikki.  ABC

Dracula has the ability of mind control, something that Juan Pablo also appears to possess. For the past couple of episodes, viewers have watched the Bachelor go on one-on-one dates with his bachelorettes. While some of the excursions were just romantic walks to explore a new city, a couple of the one-on-one’s involved a dare-devil activity with a not-so-daring date.

In episode 3 Chelsie was overcome with fear about tandem bungee jumping off a bridge in California. The contestant’s fear of heights even drove her to begin crying. However, after a couple minutes of Juan Pablo’s smooth and comforting whispers, the 24-year-old science educator decided that she would go through with tandem jump. Did Chelsie muster up courage … or did Juan Pablo use mind control on her?

In episode 4, opera singer Sharleen revealed that she doesn’t sing for her significant other when she finds herself in a new relationship. Despite saying this, Sharleen ended up singing for Juan Pablo after a couple words of encouragement from him.

Episode 5 found Nikki in a similar situation to Chelsie when her date involved her rappelling 100 feet into a dark cave named “Hell” … coincidence? I think not. Like Chelsie, Nikki initially expressed doubts about partaking in the activity, but ended up participating after a talk with Juan Pablo.

Besides the dates, Juan Pablo has also successfully managed to calm numerous girls who had doubts about their connection with the bachelor.

3. The Kissing

Kissing Possible photographic evidence of Juan Pablo attempting to suck Clare's blood.  ABC

Dracula feeds from the neck of his victims … and Juan Pablo looks like he’s eating everyone’s face when he goes in for the kill ... i mean for a kiss. Enough said.

4. Passion

Dracula is also described as extremely passionate -- which can apply to romance and anger. Stoker’s character is said to “fly into a fit of rage when his plans are interfered with” and that his blue eyes turn red.

“Bachelor” viewers have seen Juan Pablo’s passionate romantic side a lot, and it seemed to peak in episode 5. Fans watched as he not only invited Clare back to his pool for some sexy one-on-one time, but also followed her out later that evening for a dip in the ocean that Clare explained as “pure bliss.” Of course his “anger” spiked later when he pulled Clare aside to call their romantic late night swim a “mistake.” The cameras didn’t show his eyes turn red … but that could have just been photoshopped after.

Other things for Juan Pablo/ Dracula doubters to consider? The location of Juan Pablo’s dates! Soccer, Juan Pablo’s passion and former profession, is a huge European sport -- yet “The Bachelor” decided to film in places like South Korea, Vietnam and New Zealand. Was a place, like say … ITALY … excluded because of *cough* GARLIC *cough*?

As for the whole “Juan Pablo can walk in sunlight” argument? It’s important to note that Stoker’s character could not be fatally harmed by sunlight.

"The Bachelor" airs on ABC on Mondays at 8 p.m.

*DISCLAIMER*: This is a satire and purely made up for my own amusement. Juan Pablo is more than likely not Dracula.

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