Holly Madison’s life was portrayed as being one big party on E!’s reality series “The Girls Next Door,” but it appears the Playboy model’s experience wasn’t quite like viewers may have been led to believe. In a her coming tell-all “Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Model,” Madison will discuss what life was really like at her ex-boyfriend Hugh Hefner’s famed Playboy Mansion, even touching on an attempted suicide.

“Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all – and quickly became her nightmare,” reads a press release about the memoir via Us Weekly. “After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.”

Madison – who was Hefner's live-in, number one girlfriend for several years -- will also reveal the “strict rules” she encountered while living at the now 88-year-old Playboy creator’s Holmby Hills, California, mansion, as well as the “backstabbing bunnies” she met there, according to Harper Collins’ press release.

Ahead of the book’s June 23 release, the 35-year-old TV personality spoke out about the memoir’s contents with Us Weekly Thursday. “I’m excited to finally share my story and what I’ve learned from my personal experiences both inside and outside of the Playboy Mansion," Holly said. “I’m looking forward to lifting the veil of mystique and clearing up the misconceptions so often associated with my life,” she added, stating that she feels her confessions in the tell-all will “surprise” her fans.

Madison rose to fame in 2005 with her starring role on E!’s docuseries “The Girls Next Door.” The reality program followed the day-to-day lives of her and Hefner’s two other then live-in girlfriends, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson. The three girls parted ways with the series in 2009. Season 6 of the program featured Hefner’s next three girlfriends, twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon and his now-wife, Playboy model and DJ Crystal Harris.

In 2009, Madison competed on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars” before going on to star on the E! reality spinoff “Holly’s World.” The show lasted for two seasons. In March 2013, she welcomed her daughter Rainbow with her now-husband Pasquale Rotella. Rainbow's birth was later featured on the E! network special “Holly Has a Baby!”