'How I Met Your Mother'
Season nine of "How I Met Your Mother" will return to CBS on Sept. 23. CBS

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

“How I Met Your Mother” kicked off October with a major breakup. How did one of the couples on the CBS sitcom meet their romantic demise?

The series fast forwards to October 2012, because as Ted puts it, over the summer “everyone was as happy as can be,” and no good stories come from that. Just as the co-creators teased previously, October became “the autumn of breakups.”

The “autumn of breakups” begins when guest star Bob Odenkirk reprises his role as Arthur Hobbs, Marshall’s old boss from Goliath National Bank. Arthur is helping Barney write up a pre-nup for Quinn, but the couple has (very) different opinions on what should be in it.

Thinking Quinn would just sign the pre-nup, Barney is shocked when he discovers that she wants to read it. Meanwhile, Quinn is just shocked that Barney even wants her to sign one. So, what exactly does Barney have in the pre-nup?

* Barney will have the rights to visit Quinn’s lady parts if they ever get divorced.

* Quinn must pay $2,000 every time she gains a pound.

  • * -Quinn must develop 12 new sexual positions a year (where she does all or most of the work).
  • * -Quinn must get breast enhancements every five years or 50,000 “Honka Honkas” (whichever comes first).
  • * All of Quinn’s hair below her neck must be removed weekly.

Sounds reasonable, right? “Are these rules for how I have to behave in our marriage?” Quinn asks. “Suggestions,” Barney responds, referring to celebrities that have similar pre-nups (“Those are the marriages that last”).

Barney’s pre-nup debacle with Quinn leads him to ask the guys if he went “a unicorn whisper too far.” And while they agree that he’s crazy, they do think of behavior that their own girlfriends or wives do that they wouldn’t mind outlawing.

The guys all lie in bed that night and talk to their significant others about what they don’t like. For Marshall, he doesn’t like that Lily is too precious with the baby. For Nick, he doesn’t like how Robin focuses on the TV while they’re hooking up (“Sorry, didn’t think it took 42 inches to keep you satisfied”). For Ted, it’s about Victoria’s ex-fiance, Klaus, who has moved into Ted’s spare bedroom.

Lily, Robin, Quinn and Victoria meet up to vent about their ridiculous pre-nup conversations that stemmed from Barney, and decide to take matters into their own hands. Quinn meets up with Barney again to talk about the pre-nup, and brings Lily, Robin and Victoria as backup. The four of them turn the tables on Barney by handing him a pre-nup.

So, what’s in Quinn’s pre-nup for Barney?

  • * Quinn gets full custody of Barney’s suits in the case of a divorce.
  • * -Barney can attend any function at the Playboy mansion...if he’s in an urn.
  • * Barney must wear a shock “ring” whenever he is around her girlfriends.

Barney has his own back-up though, calling in Ted, Marshall and Nick into his pre-nup meeting as well. As the four couples start to fight, Arthur says something that makes them all think about their relationships.

“You all have someone who loves you and your screwing it up....all over power,” Arthur exclaims.

Marshall, Ted and Nick end up making up with their significant others after realizing the “real” reason they are fighting (Marshall’s scared he’s not as good a parent as Lily, Ted’s afraid that Klaus will never let him and Victoria escape their past, and Nick is totally into Robin watching herself do the news on TV), but unfortunately the same doesn’t work out for Barney and Quinn.

As Barney and Quinn prepare to throw out their pre-nups, they realize that neither of them will make the first move in throwing it out. The pair instead head back into the room to add more things and finally realize that “it should be simpler than this.”

“Barney, do you trust me?” Quinn asks. Barney replies “No,” and asks Quinn the same question. Like Barney, Quinn responds “No,” resulting in the first romantic casualty of the season.

Having a drink with the guys later, Barney tells them that “I found out I’ll never trust someone enough to get married.” But in true “How I Met Your Mother” fashion, a flash forward shows Barney explaining to his co-workers that his wedding to Robin is going to be “legend-wait for it- ary,” and that “this time” he doesn’t need a pre-nup.

“How I Met Your Mother” airs on CBS at 8 p.m. on Monday.

Which couple do you think is going to break up next?