Sir Ken Dodd Quotes: 20 Best One-Liners From Late Comedy Legend

British comedy legend Sir Ken Dodd, well-known for his long standup shows, his “tickling stick” and comic characters Diddy Men, died Sunday, his publicist confirmed. Dodd married Anne Jones, his partner of 40 years, Friday at their residence in Liverpool, England, which is also the house where Dodd was born in.

His publicist Robert Holmes told the Press Association: "They got the registrar and were married in the house. He died two days later on Mother’s Day. Anne is obviously very upset. To my mind, he was one of the last music hall greats. ... With Ken gone, the lights have been turned out in the world of variety. He was a comedy legend and genius."

He added of Dodd’s relationship with Jones: "It’s a love story to beat them all."

The comedian was said to have spent more than six weeks in the Liverpool Heart and Chest Hospital earlier this year, following a chest infection. Dodd's colleagues and fans were quick to react to the news and pay tribute to the legend.

The comedy legend was famous for his witty one-liners and quotes. Here is a list of some of the best-known quotes, compiled from Sky News, Mirror.co.uk and AZ Quotes.

1. "I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her."
2. "Men's legs have a terribly lonely life - standing in the dark in your trousers all day."
3. "It's 10 years since I went out of my mind. I'd never go back."
4. "The trouble with Freud is that he never played the Glasgow Empire on a Saturday night after Rangers and Celtic had both lost."
5. "The French didn't object to British beef in 1940."
6. "Honolulu: it's got everything: sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
7. "How do you make a blonde laugh on a Sunday? Tell her a joke on a Wednesday."
8. "How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows. It's never been tried."
9. "I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it."
10. "My Dad knew I was going to be a comedian. When I was a baby he said, “Is this a joke?"
11. "Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel."
12. "She was a big girl – she could stir fry a leg of lamb. She tried the 'speak your weight' machine. It said: 'To be continued.'"
13. "So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn’t make the sound of a coconut."
14. "I’ve seen a topless lady ventriloquist. No one has ever seen her lips move."
15. "Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions."
16. "My teeth are all my own. I just finished paying for them."
17. "Just read a book about Stockholm syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it."
18. "Laughter is the greatest music in the world and audiences come to my shows to escape the cares of life. They don't want to be embarrassed or insulted. They want to laugh and so do I - which is probably why it works."
19. "My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.'"
20. "Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble!"