KEY POINTS

  • Britney Spears said in a new Instagram post that her life is anything but perfect
  • The pop star admitted she "pretended" that she was OK for the past few years because of her "pride" 
  • But Spears said that putting on an act on social media "has actually helped"

Britney Spears has apologized to fans for spending years "pretending" to be OK after giving a statement during a court hearing on her conservatorship Wednesday.

In a lengthy post on Instagram Thursday, the "Toxic" singer, 39, got candid about how she's been in the past few years, admitting that her life is anything but perfect.

"I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing," Spears wrote, alongside a quote attributed to Albert Einstein that reads, "If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales."

The pop star went on to reveal that she learned this from her mother, who "always pretended like everything was ok" no matter how difficult her day was.

"I’m bringing this to peoples attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL," Spears continued in her first post since addressing the court.

Spears then apologized for "pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years." The singer explained that the act was because of her "pride" and because she was "embarrassed to share what happened to me." However, Spears said that putting on an act on social media "has actually helped."

Spears shared that Instagram has given her an "outlet to share my presence" and helped her "simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked."

"So I’ve decided to start reading more fairy tales," she concluded the post, which has received over 1 million likes.

In April, one fan asked her on the platform if she was OK amid her conservatorship battle. At the time, the singer replied that she was "totally fine."

"I’m extremely happy. I have a beautiful home, beautiful children. I’m taking a break right now because I’m enjoying myself," she said in the video uploaded on her Instagram.

However, during Wednesday's conservatorship hearing, Spears told the judge that she's "traumatized," "depressed" and "demoralized" by the conservatorship that has controlled her life and body since 2008. She asked for her conservatorship to end without evaluation.

"I’ve lied and told the whole world I’m OK and I'm happy. It's a lie," Spears told Judge Brenda Penny. "I've been in denial. I’ve been in shock… I’m so angry it’s insane."

Britney Spears, shown here leaving the Los Angeles County Superior courthouse after a child custody status hearing in 2008
Britney Spears, shown here leaving the Los Angeles County Superior courthouse after a child custody status hearing in 2008 AFP / GABRIEL BOUYS