Even without the choices that put additional weight on their shoulders, people’s lives can seem like a relentless grind. In the United States, a Gallup poll found that 21% of fully employed workers worked between 50 and 59 hours every week. Eighteen percent reported they work more than 60 hours a week. With the gig economy booming and “working from home” becoming code for “always available to work,” it’s getting harder and harder to find the occasional oasis for some much-needed respite. While it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see the possible downsides of this kind of living, it does take a professional to offer an alternative to the grind-yourself-to-death narrative.

Dr. Venus Nicolino
Dr. Venus Nicolino Dr. Venus Nicolino

Enter Dr. Venus Nicolino, known as Dr. V, the irreverent shrink. Through over 100 episodes of television, her bestselling book, a popular podcast, and a powerful social media presence, and as the lead investor and Board Member of SoundMind , Dr. V has been offering people golden morsels of wisdom for years. Sometimes she might have coated them in a more informal way of speaking, making her words more impactful with a harder punch. Here are just a couple of tips Dr. Venus Nicolino has for anyone who has a hard time giving themselves a break.

Don’t Skimp on Sleep

It might be hard to pinpoint who started it, but a war on sleep is something hard to deny. To squeeze a couple more waking—and hopefully productive—hours in the day, people will go to bed later or rise earlier. It’s a real problem; even the CDC says that more than 35% of Americans are sleep deprived.

“I often refer to sleeping as self-help that actually helps,” says Dr. V. “The physiological and psychological damage people do to themselves with chronic sleep deprivation is heartbreaking, and it doesn’t net those couple of extra productive hours they think they need.”

A remedy? Get enough sleep; it’s as simple as that. People need enough sleep to perform at their optimal levels. The audio-visual experience offered by the SoundMind app might be a great way to alleviate some stress before going to sleep.

It’s Okay to Have Downtime

“What gets measured gets managed” is a relatively new adage that works very well for most human activities these days because we have so many different ways to measure stuff. What we eat and when, how much we move, how much we work, how efficient and productive we are—the list goes on. A modern, highly engaged life looks like a spreadsheet where every field has to be filled out.

Only, it doesn’t have to. It could be left blank. A spreadsheet can have empty spaces. “It’s okay to be a little bit inefficient with your time,” says Dr. V. “People need that space in their lives to let all the humanity in them grow. Life isn’t an endless checklist or a to-do list. It can be messy, and that’s fine. It’s even more than fine—it’s necessary.”

Have Hope in Humanity

There are more than enough things going on to fill anyone with a sense of unease, or even full-blown dread. Whether it’s the challenges that come with climate change, the many damaging ways social media affects people, or just the polarization that’s taken root in many societies, it’s too easy to let despair take over and lose hope in people’s ability to handle all of that.

Dr. Venus Nicolino, however, doesn’t think that’s a good idea, because we are not doomed, and people remain a very decent target to pin one’s hope onto. “The in-fighting among humans might be prevalent in today’s society,” explains Dr. V, “but it’s not irreconcilable. We’re not hopeless, we can work together, we don’t have to become monsters. We’re a work in progress, sure, but we’re very much deserving of hope. We have all we need to tackle these issues right here inside of us.”