Some organizations sell products. Others provide services. But a rare few offer something deeper: a framework for transformation. They become guides, foundations, and lifelines. The Wheel of Consent is one of those rare creations. Born not from corporate strategy but from lived experience, it has quietly become a global force for personal empowerment, deeper connection, and social change.

What started as a simple exercise has evolved into a life practice, one that is now changing not only relationships but entire communities, because when one person learns to honor their boundaries and voice their needs, the ripple effect can touch hundreds more. This is the story of Dr. Betty Martin, her School of Consent, and The Wheel of Consent.

Dr. Betty Martin
Dr. Betty Martin

Rooted in empowerment, clarity, and the radical idea that consent is not just about saying 'no' but about knowing how to say 'yes,' this practice is shifting lives in ways even Martin herself never imagined. Over two decades ago, Martin was exploring her own relationship with empowerment and sexuality as a curious human being. In a workshop, she played a simple exercise known as The 3-Minute Game, developed by renowned life coach Harry Faddis. Two questions that two people take turns asking each other: "What do you want me to do to you for three minutes?" and "What do you want to do to me for three minutes?"

What seemed like a light touch exercise revealed something much deeper. "The moment I played it, I saw two key dynamics emerge: 'Who is doing?' and 'Who is it for?'" says Martin. That clarity, between action and intention, would become the foundation of The Wheel of Consent.

As she incorporated the game into her work with clients, Martin saw a consistent pattern: people came in with questions about sex but left with revelations about their personal agency. She explains, "It is about self-knowing, empowerment, and consent."

From these insights, The Wheel of Consent was born, not as a product, but as a practice. It's a model that maps the four quadrants of human interaction and helps people distinguish between giving, receiving, taking, and allowing.

What makes The Wheel of Consent so unique is that it isn't prescriptive. It doesn't offer relationship advice or steps to better communication. Instead, it offers something much more foundational: a way to slow down and pay attention to what an individual wants, what they don't, and how to honor that in themselves and others.

"The most common thing I hear is, 'I don't know what I want,'" says Martin. "This practice shines a light on that; and not just in the bedroom but also at work, with friends, in families. It affects how you ask, how you give, how you say no, and how you notice manipulation, in others and in yourself." It teaches people how to be both selfish and generous, and how to know the difference.

Since 2007, Martin has taught The Wheel of Consent in workshops around the world. In 2018, she co-founded the School of Consent with Robyn Dalzen. Together, they've trained a growing faculty of professionals: psychologists, sex educators, doctors, bodyworkers, and teachers, to deliver this work with precision, ethics, and integrity.

The demand grew rapidly. But as the model spread, so did confusion. "People started teaching it, but not teaching it accurately," Martin explains. "That's when I realized we had to create something more structured."

That structure came in the form of professional training, certification programs, and the release of a book: The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent, co-authored with Dalzen. The book became another tool, a touchstone for practitioners and the public alike. Today, the School of Consent's faculty continues to deliver professional training, while facilitators are trained to give short-form workshops to the general public all over the world.

The true power of The Wheel of Consent lies not just in how it changes the lives of those who practice it, but in how those lives, in turn, change others. Martin reflects: "We've taught this to so many practitioners all around the world and they go on to touch the lives of thousands of their own clients and students. And then through those thousands, their families, their workplaces, their communities."

This isn't hyperbole. When someone learns to ask clearly for what they want and respect when others do the same, everything changes. Relationships deepen. Boundaries strengthen. Miscommunication drops. Manipulation fades. Trust grows.

But even more profound is the self-reflection. "You realize not just how others treat you," Martin says, "but how you treat others. It's humbling. And it's liberating." It's a shift that bleeds into every aspect of life: intimacy, yes, but also parenting, leadership, friendship, and citizenship. In a world plagued by blurred lines and unspoken expectations, the Wheel offers clarity, courage, and choice.

At its heart, The Wheel of Consent is about empowerment. "You develop the skills to respect other people's choices. And maybe even more importantly, to respect your own," says Martin. And perhaps that's why it has resonated with so many. Because, beyond any specific method or model, the Wheel reminds people of something timeless. Martin states, "We are allowed to want, to ask, to choose. And when we do so, thoughtfully, truthfully, we become better humans. For ourselves. For each other."

Martin continues to speak at conferences around the world, sharing The Wheel of Consent with new audiences, from educators and therapists to social activists and entrepreneurs. But she's also stepping back, allowing the next generation of trainers and thought leaders to carry the work forward. Because in the end, The Wheel of Consent isn't just about touch. It's about transformation. And that's a revolution worth continuing.