Fans of “Sister Wives” on TLC have speculated for years about whether or not Meri Brown was still a part of the massive family. While it appears Kody’s first wife still has a role with the family on their reality show, fans uncovered a shocking comment from the first season where the sister wife already shockingly admitted that she may not be happy in their family unit.

In a video posted to the Sister Wives Reddit, an eagle-eyed fan re-watched the third episode of the shows first season, which saw the family as they prepared to welcome Robyn, the fourth wife (and now Kody’s only legal spouse), to the family. As they discussed the idea of her marrying Kody in the early episode, Meri admitted to having doubts about the situation and even made comments about possibly only staying in the family because of her daughter with Kody—Mariah.

“We’ve been married for 20 years, and so, you think just, ‘gosh, that’s been a long time’ and I do think ‘I don’t want to do this,’” a teary-eyed Meri confesses in the clip about Robyn’s courtship. “I’m comfortable with Janelle and Christine, you know, they get me.”

From there, Meri went on to reveal that a part of her didn’t want to always be around with the family and that the only reason she sometimes stuck around was for Mariah because she wasn’t going to separate her from her siblings and other family members.

“I don’t know that I even want to stay sometimes,” she said. “You know the only thing that even wants me to stay is my commitment level and my daughter. You know, this is her family, and I wouldn’t ever do that to her.”

Sure enough, fans expressed that this was likely the reason for Meri’s continued presence in the family today, even though the recent season saw the couple attend therapy and admit that their marriage was struggling.

“The very second Meri leaves, Mariah will disown her,” the fan noted on the thread. “And she knows it, which is why she stays.”

Meri and Kody’s marital problems have been noted on the show for some time, especially since their legal divorce and his marrying Robyn to legally adopt her children. Following that, Meri was wrapped up in a Catfishing scandal that has since seemed to shape her relationship with Kody.

During the previously mentioned therapy session, Meri even suggested that their relationship was beyond repair.

“The relationship between he and I is gone,” she said at the time. “It’s dead, it’s over.”

Sister Wives
Pictured L-R: Robyn, Meri, Kody, Christine and Janelle Brown of “Sister Wives” in a promo photo for the new season.  Sister Wives Facebook