"Saturday Night Live" returned this weekend with plenty of cracks about Donald Trump and the toxic train wreck in East Palestine, Ohio.

The 13th episode of Season 48 was hosted by American actor Woody Harrelson, who marked his fifth time as host. Famed guitarist Jack White was the musical guest for the fifth time.

Cold Open

Cast member James Austin Johnson impersonated Trump, who had made a visit to East Palestine, Ohio, which he called "not a great name." The visit didn't go well, as Trump stumbled through several awkward comments about the toxic train derailment.

At one point he says, "Earlier today a farmer came up to me, big fella, and he said, 'Sir, we have nothing to eat because our dirt is poisoned.' And I said, well what are you doing eating the dirt? Don't eat the dirt, folks. Don't eat the dirt. You should be eating the cold McDonald's I brought you. And the bottled water -- Trump Ice. I'll be honest, I just put my sticker on some Dasani!"

He later took aim at the Secretary of Transportation. "Your train exploded and who do we blame? We blame Buttigieg. Pete Buttigieg. This was his responsibility. Unfortunately, he was too busy being a nerd and being gay," said Johnson.


Harrelson addressed his fifth time hosting the sketch comedy show. He lamented that he was expecting a jacket for the milestone but never got it. [Spoiler alert: he got it at the end of the show.] The former "Cheers" actor talked about his longtime habit of smoking marijuana.

But Harrelson, who has touched on conspiracy theories about the pandemic, caused a bit of a stir with his comments about the COVID-19 vaccine as he talked about "a movie idea."

"So the movie goes like this: The biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force all the people in the world to stay locked in their homes. And people can only come out if they take the cartel's drugs and keep taking them over and over. I threw the script away. I mean who is going to believe that crazy idea -- being forced to do drugs? I do that voluntarily all day long."


Perhaps the strongest sketch involved Harrelson playing a prisoner talking behind glass to his wife (cast member Heidi Gardner.) The conversation is frequently interrupted by the guards (Kenan Thompson and Ego Nwodim) who are overseeing it.

Another sketch made light of the 2022 film "The Whale." This one was called "The Hippo," which involved Harrelson putting on a massive amount of weight for the title role, only to find out that the film won't be made.

Weekend Update

Co-hosts Colin Jost and Michael Che wasted no time going after Trump.

"Donald Trump visited East Palestine, the site of the recent train derailment, because Trump usually tries to make himself look better by standing next to a train wreck. [A photo of Rudy Giuliani pops up.] The train that derailed was carrying highly toxic vinyl chloride, which I think is something Trump recommended as a cure for COVID," quipped Jost.

"President Biden is being praised for his surprise visit to Ukraine by taking a 10-hour train ride from Poland. Know who else takes a long-ass train ride through an active war zone? Every New Yorker," joked Che.

"China is trying to help end the war in Ukraine and proposed a 12-part plan for peace. The catch is, the 12 parts have to be assembled by children," Che said.

"Saturday Night Live" returns on March 4, with Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce serving as host and Kelsea Ballerini as the musical guest.