With Halloween rearing its ghoulish jug-head right at us, the pressure is on to concoct the perfect costume that says “this getup is hilarious, but I bet you didn’t know I found it nestled in the back of the Salvation Army and I’m fairly certain its previous owner was a homeless person with gout.”

If you’re an adult, patching together a cheap and offensive outfit is half the battle. The other is getting properly sauced so everyone around you, yourself included, thinks you’re some sort of Halloween costume savant.

By all means, drink a whole case of Natty Light, but if you’re trying to class Halloween up and put on the façade that you’re a mixology-loving adult with a tincture of class, then here are some cocktails that will leave you drooling in a pile of half-eaten Snickers at the end of the night while your kids say, “But Mommy, you said you were Snow White, not a zombie.”