Kelly Clarkson recently opened up about a dark time in her life when she was “really skinny” and wanted to commit suicide.

While speaking with Attitude magazine, the “American Idol” winner revealed that she was pressured into looking a certain way by Hollywood executives. “When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself. I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense,” she said.

During that time, Clarkson would spend a lot of time running and working out at the gym just so she could keep her weight down. “It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting. I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run,” she said.

After years of struggling with her weight and fitting into Hollywood’s standards, Clarkson decided it was time to make a change. Prior to this, the “Stronger” singer was also in the company of negative people so she also decided to stay away from them. “It was a case of turning around… and walking toward the light,” she said.

At present, Clarkson is in a much better place in her life. She got married to Brandon Blackstock in 2013, and they now have two children together. Last month, “The Voice” coach told Entertainment Tonight that Blackstock makes her feel “sexy.”

“I already am a confident woman – I don’t think that’s a secret. But I love being with somebody who is unafraid of making you feel sexy. I always make fun of him, like, ‘Why are you always touching my behind in public?’ He’ll like, goose me or something, somewhere, and I’m like, ‘What are you doing?’ But I really like it,” she gushed.

Clarkson and Blackstock are parents to 3-year-old River Rose, and 1-year-old Remington. The couple first met in 2012 at the Super Bowl, where the singer performed the National Anthem, according to Bustle. Blackstock also happens to be Clarkson’s manager Narvel Blackstock’s son.