Troian Bellisario
Troian Bellisario has opened up about her struggles with her mental illness. Pictured: The “Pretty Little Liars” actress attending the 15th Annual Benefit Gala, ‘An Evening Unmasking Eating Disorders’ at The Pierre Hotel in New York City on June 15, 2017. Getty Images/Ilya S. Savenok

Troian Bellisario has opened up about her struggle with an eating disorder, which she blames on a mental disease she’s been struggling with for a long time now. The actress also admitted that getting help for her problems was not an easy thing to do.

On Tuesday, Bellisario penned an essay for Lena Dunham’s website Lenny Letter in which she poured her heart out regarding the kind of struggle she’s going through. For the “Pretty Little Liars” actress, the disparity between what her mind wants and what her body can handle has been giving her a difficult time.

The 31-year-old Hollywood celebrity recalled in her essay a time when she was swimming in freezing cold water and lost her sense of feeling in her toes. Despite getting numb, she felt invincible. “I’m still denying my body the one thing it is asking me to do: take care of it,” she wrote. Bellisario admitted that her body wanted to get out of the water that time, but her mind was telling her to not be weak.

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Explaining more about this mental illness, Bellisario stated, “There is a part of my brain that defies logic. Once, it completely convinced me I should live off 300 calories a day, and at some point, it told me even that was too much.” She went on to call this as a “brain disease,” which according to her has taken complete control of her body at one point in her life.

Bellisario also disclosed in her essay the major drawback that came with this disease. “It almost killed me,” she said, adding, “and you can see that even though I have lived in recovery for 10 years now, it still finds loads of fun, insidious ways to thwart me to this day.”

Bellisario candidly admitted that getting help for her condition was also a struggle for her, saying, “It was a difficult journey finding my way back to health.” Nevertheless, she’s thankful that her family, friends and even her partner helped her recover.

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The “Feed” writer and actress is married to “Suits” actor Patrick J. Adams. They tied the knot in December 2016. Just after Bellisario’s essay was published, Adams took to Twitter to show his support for his wife, whom he calls “the bravest and most beautiful woman I’ve ever met” in his tweet.