• Billie Lourd said she still hesitates to talk about her mom Carrie Fisher's and grandma Debbie Reynolds' deaths
  • She said her words get "turned into some headline that I didn't mean"
  • The "American Horror Story" star described her late mom and grandmother as her "favorite people"

Billie Lourd is getting candid about losing her mother and grandmother just a day apart five years ago.

The 29-year-old actress recently appeared on the "New Day" podcast, where she spoke about losing both her mom Carrie Fisher and grandmother Debbie Reynolds in 2016.

"It was brutal. It was really, really brutal, and I still hesitate and stutter because it's really hard for me," Lourd was quoted by People as saying on the podcast.

She added, "Because everything I say gets turned into some headline that I didn't mean. There's this one where I said something, and it was like three months after she died. I didn't know what the f--- I was talking about or who the f--- I was or what was going on. And I said something like, 'Well, now that they're gone, I get to just be Billie.'"

Lourd said her words were misinterpreted. The "American Horror Story" star explained that she "got out of the shadow of" her famous mother and grandmother, but she "didn't want to get out of this shadow."

"It sounded like I like wanted them to die, and that is absolutely the opposite of what I wanted," she said. "I would do anything to get them back, but it sounded like I was excited to have the 'Billie Show.'"

The "Star Wars" star died on Dec. 27, 2016, after suffering a heart attack at age 60. Fisher's mother and Lourd's grandmother, Reynolds, died a day later following a stroke at age 84.

Lourd said her later mom and grandmother were her "favorite people." She described Fisher as the "greatest, funniest person ever," adding that her mom was her "best friend."

"There's no one who will ever be as funny as she is," Lourd said. "She was just — she is amazing."

The "Scream Queens" star admitted that while her mom and grandma were alive, she'd tried to avoid doing the same things as Fisher and Reynolds to avoid being "in their shadow." She wanted to make sure that people knew her separately from them.

However, she had a change of heart following their deaths. Now, she said she wishes she could "do anything with them, really," adding, "But I guess I just tried to separate myself from them while they were alive and now I feel like I kind of I am kind of trying to do the opposite. I try to connect myself to them because I miss them."

Lourd welcomed her first baby with partner Austen Rydell last year. In May, the actress shared a photo of her son Kingston, now 1, dressed as Princess Leia, Fisher's "Star Wars" character.

Lourd also revealed during her podcast interview that growing up as her mother's best friend influenced her own parenting style.

"My main job when [Fisher] was alive was taking care of her and making sure she was OK," Lourd said. "I was her main support, and I was 7, for a lot of the time, and that was really hard and that's why I grew up really fast because I was her best friend. I was her mother, I was her kid, I was her everything. And that's one of the things I'm learning not to do with my kid."

Carrie Fisher, Billie Lourd
Billie Lourd recently paid tribute to her mom by getting a matching tattoo. Picture: Fisher, Lourd attend the Premiere of Walt Disney Pictures and Lucasfilm’s “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” on Dec. 14, 2015 in Hollywood, California. Getty Images/Jason Merritt