Dawn Ellery on Breaking Silence: From HR to Entrepreneurship, Mental Health, and the Power of Difficult Conversations

In a world where silence often feels safer than honesty, Dawn Ellery, a speaker, author, and mental health advocate, has made a career out of doing the opposite, leaning into the difficult, unglamorous, and often uncomfortable conversations that most would rather avoid. Whether in corporate HR offices, behind the counter of an intimacy boutique, or now through speaking and writing, Ellery has consistently sought to challenge what is left unsaid, believing that the truths people often bury are ones that deeply shape their lives.

Ellery has spent decades in human resources, a field she admits she never intentionally chose but fell into and, over the years, mastered. "I fell into HR, and then 20 or 30 years later, there I was," she recalls. "I was good at it, but it wasn't healthy for me." The role demanded that she often endorse policies she did not personally believe in, leaving her and many of her peers caught in what she now describes as "moral injury." It's a term that resonates widely with professionals who must constantly navigate the tension between corporate mandates and human compassion.

Her own breaking point came after years of unhealthy work environments and personal strain. In a moment that surprised many around her, Ellery walked away and opened an intimacy boutique. "It surprised everyone," she shares. "But it introduced me to a completely different world, an entrepreneurial world."

For Ellery, the pivot was less about shock value and more about continuity. "In HR, I was always talking to people about things they didn't want to talk about, compensation, health, relationships. In the store, it was the same, just a different side of the coin. I was talking about intimacy, emotions, and connection. It all comes down to the conversations we avoid."

Through the boutique, Ellery began hosting events that created safe spaces for women to openly discuss topics like intimacy, relationships, and mental health, subjects that society often discourages women from speaking about at all. Those gatherings would lay the groundwork for the kind of speaking engagements she now aspires to lead on a larger stage: forums where honesty, vulnerability, and difficult truths are not just welcome, but encouraged.

Her journey has also been profoundly shaped by her own late-in-life ADHD diagnosis, which she received during perimenopause. The experience, she says, illuminated why she had felt out of place in the workplace. "In HR, everyone was over here with oranges, and I was over here with elephants," she explains. "I wasn't encouraged to express that, but it's always my strength. I'm creative in a space that only rewards the analytical." That perspective, she argues, is not only valuable but necessary, because the problems organizations face rarely have neat, predictable solutions.

Ellery's story encapsulates resilience and self-awareness hard-won over years of trial and error. She's ventured through cycles of unhealthy jobs, clashes with management styles, and the toll of tying healthcare to employment in the US. "People say, 'just quit if you're unhappy,' but it's never that easy," she notes. For her, it took a mental health leave to finally reset and prioritize her wellbeing. "I had to figure my own stuff out. We think we're self-aware, but most of us aren't. It takes a lot of introspection and care to know what we truly need," Ellery shares.

That process of figuring things out, she believes, is universal. She shares a quote that often resonated with her: "Life has lessons. If you don't learn from them, they'll just keep coming back." For Ellery, those lessons have centered around self-esteem, boundaries, and the courage to speak up when silence is the easier option.

Looking ahead, Ellery envisions creating large-scale gatherings for women where work, relationships, and personal growth are not treated as separate silos but as interconnected parts of life. "When you give somebody permission to be honest, it changes everything," she says. "We're all carrying things we're told to bury, childhood labels, unresolved issues, workplace frustrations. They shape us whether we acknowledge them or not. And when we don't talk about them, that's when they cause the most harm."

Her recently released book, Dirty Little HR Secrets, published earlier this year, reflects that same ethos: blending her professional expertise, personal experiences, and candid reflections to shine light on the hidden struggles many endure silently.

Today, Ellery continues her HR work while building a voice beyond the corporate world, one that blends creativity, honesty, and empathy. She is not interested in the polished veneer that so often dominates professional spaces. Instead, her mission is to make room for the messy, real, and human parts of life that actually drive connection.

"Not everybody wants to have difficult conversations," she says. "But if we don't, the problems only grow. I'd rather be the one who says the thing no one else will."